"The Fear"

My weight loss programme officially started in January, so I thought I would take this post to include some 'before' and 'current' photos.  When I officially started this journey my weight had ballooned over the Christmas period to 17 stone 2 pounds (240 pounds) - this was very near to my all time high of 18 stone 7 pounds (260 pounds).  From 2004-08 I lost over 100 pounds through a combination of diets - mainly the Cambridge Diet meal replacement programme, and then eventually reached my goal weight with the GI diet.  The weight gradually began to creep back on after my mother in law became ill at the start of 2010.  She eventually passed away in June 2010 and this put a tremendous stress on the family as a result - my comfort again became food.

Having been there before, I knew what I needed to do to lose the weight, but it took quite a while for me to get "the fear".  The fear is how I describe that feeling that compels you to do something and to succeed at it.  It's like something clicks in your brain - you suddenly have the motivation and determination to see it through - other attempts failed miserably - but this time you just know that you'll get there.  I wish I could say undeniably what it takes to get "the fear", but I don't have the answer.  You just make up your mind that you are going to succeed and even though you may fall off the wagon occasionally - you jump right back on.

Me with the family in August 2011 - not quite my heaviest weight!

So, though I have 44 pounds to lose before I reach my goal, I know that I will get there.  I'm also strangely encouraged that I'm losing the weight the 'slow' way this time.  When I first started back in 2004, I used the Cambridge Diet - this was a meal replacement programme consisting of shakes, soups and bars.  I lost five stone (70 pounds) in about four months and when I came off the diet about 20 pounds went back on straight away.  I personally think that diets such as this are purely a quick fix and not really suitable for long-term weight loss.  They don't teach you about eating a proper balanced diet (day to day - they tell you all about it in their brochures!), nor do they tackle your food demons.  Eventually, after yo-yoing with Cambridge for the best part of a year, I decided to try the GI diet, which enabled me to reach my goal.

Personally, I feel that by losing all the weight this time by simply counting calories and exercising, I am losing it at a much slower rate than before.  Because it is coming off more slowly, I am learning a lot of patience, but I am also learning more and more to make intelligent food choices - and the longer I continue to make those good choices, I think the better chance I will have at maintaining the loss once and for all!  Strictly speaking, the rest of my life will involve making those same choices!

This is me at the moment - 36 pounds down!

_______________________________________________________________

So, my friend Fi is back from holiday and we went on our (resumed) usual lunchtime walk on Tuesday.    I was pumped and ready to go - finally my walking buddy was back!  I think she was a wee bit out of practice, having had a nice, long, relaxing holiday, but it was nice to have a good catch up even though our pace wasn't super fast.  The bonus though was in the last section of the walk.  We do a loop route and the final stretch involves a near one mile slog up a gradual climb - this bit always used to kill me.  It's near the end, you're getting tired, all you want to do is get back to the office and have your lunch... but you know the only way back is up this incline.  Well, I noticed on Tuesday that I was happily chatting away and my legs weren't aching, I wasn't huffing and puffing, I was fitter!

finally worked out how to see my average speed!

I was really pleased that my hard work was now noticeably starting to pay off!  Another interesting little feature of my Walkmeter is that it records your total distance from all your walks - my grand total (from recorded walks, I should mention) for 2012 SO FAR is....

57.98 miles!

That's the equivalent of walking from London to Oxford!  I firmly believe this number would have been a lot higher if I didn't have a lung infection earlier in the year (my February and March walking totals were not that high in comparison with other months).  We'll have to see what May's total is - but I'm feeling another goal coming on here!